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Freeing Teresa

Freeing Teresa

A True Story about My Sister and Me — by Franke James

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Stories

Soul Healing Sisters

February 20, 2024 by Franke James

“Giving foot spas brought me closer to my sister with Down syndrome”

Teresa closes her eyes and smiles, saying, “Ahh, that feels good.” I agree; it feels great when I have my feet washed and toenails trimmed – I just never expected to give a pedicure to my younger sister with Down syndrome! And as those moments gradually added up over the last decade, I realized that we were both healing our souls as sisters.

“I became my sister’s carer overnight“

You might think I’ve always been the caregiver type, but no. I unexpectedly stepped into the role due to the difficult circumstances which I talk about in Freeing Teresa. Looking back, the moment of change was unexpected and fast. Without knowing what was happening, Teresa was taken away from our father and suddenly put into a nursing home by my brother. Teresa was traumatized, crying and scared. My other siblings said that she would be “safe” in the long-term care facility, but I was shocked. It certainly wasn’t what Teresa wanted. Thankfully we rescued her and she came to live with me. But it changed our lives forever.

“I’ve learned that good caregiving is just kindness”

And that’s when I discovered that good caregiving is really about kindness. After all the troubles we’d been through, I was willing to do anything to make her feel loved and wanted. I discovered that foot spas were a way to soothe both of us. And to heal our hearts.

Sole therapy that’s good for the soul

Franke James giving Teresa Heartchild a foot spa. Both sisters are laughing. Teresa is wearing floral leggings and a blue shirt. Franke is wearing a beige sweater and a red striped apron.
Teresa and Franke share a laugh during the Teresa’s regular foot spa

Ten years ago, I had no idea how much hands-on care I would have to do—and would want to do as Teresa’s caregiver. Now, one of her favourite things is getting a foot spa.

Read more in “Freeing Teresa: A True Story about My Sister and Me” and later in 2024, “Escape to Lotusland: Teresa Finds Her Voice.”

Filed Under: Stories, Videos

Teresa Goes to the Dentist

February 17, 2024 by Franke James

Why a dental clinic for people with disabilities is so essential

Teresa Heartchild waits for her order at a busy restaurant

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️ A shoutout to all the #siblings, #caregivers and helpers out there! For most people, going to the dentist is not something we do for fun. My sister Teresa Heartchild feels the same way. Since I jumped into the role of a caregiver (over ten years ago) I’ve helped my sister go to the dentist many times. It always presents a whole bunch of challenges. Some of them can be met by explaining (in advance) why the visit is necessary, lots of good humour, and promising (edible) rewards! But convincing her also requires going to the right place. In Teresa’s case, that’s a dental clinic for people with disabilities. My story, “Teresa Goes to the Dentist,” is about our recent trip for a routine checkup.

Most dentists don’t have the patience for patients like Teresa

Experience taught us that it was necessary for Teresa to go to a specialized dental clinic. We found that most regular dentists don’t have the patience for patients like her! They’re on a strict time-clock and Teresa doesn’t abide by one. She demands a lot more time.

That’s because many little things are required to make Teresa comfortable and cooperative. (She’s even more wary of dentists since she had an infected tooth extracted last summer that required a hospital stay. Ouch!)

When we arrived for her routine visit, the hygienist explained to Teresa how she was going to clean her teeth. Then she patiently explained again—because repetition is often needed especially when it’s news Teresa doesn’t like. She got Teresa seated comfortably in the reclining dental chair. She let Teresa feel the bristles of the toothbrush with her fingers. Next she gave Teresa a hand mirror to watch what was happening. Teresa was relaxed throughout the whole tooth cleaning procedure. Then the dentist came in, peered at Teresa through dental loupes and gave Teresa the A-OK. Asked where she was going next, Teresa said happily, “The Flying Pig!”

So the cake helped, too!

Music by Kidcut
License code: KRZ9ZQJLRNBFIBAP

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: #caregiving, #downsyndrome, #freeingteresa, #teresaheartchild

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